Takeaways from Fusion Camp 2019

Life

A weekend my hubs & I will cherish forever, #FusionCamp2019 was truly one for the books! It was the first couples camp organised by Citichurch, lead by Pastors JP & Cielo Villegas with guest speakers Pastor Peter & Christine Kairuz. By God’s grace we, along with a bunch of couples, had a blast learning about God’s word & design in marriage & practical concerns while having lots of fun! We were able to recommit our vows & rekindled the good fight in our marriage for His purpose & glory. We learned a lot but out of everything, here are 7 takeaways that really stirred my heart.

1 | Wives & mothers set the thermostat at home

Thermostat is defined as a device that automatically regulates temperature. Is your home cool or hot? Let me rephrase that, is the MOOD of your home, cool or hot? I realised that the mood of our home has a lot to do with me, if you’re a wife or a mother reading this, this goes to you too! Wives & mothers, we fail to realise that we have SO much POWER into achieving a blissful, peaceful & vibrant home. I speak for myself, most of the time I tend to blame things around me or my husband but really, I have the ability to make things better. How? I set the temperature or mood when I respond gently, express my emotions at the right time, encourage, pray & when I don’t push my agenda into the situation. Which leads us to my second takeaway.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image & glory of God but woman is the glory of man. 1 Corinthians 11:7

The wife is the glory, honour & dignity of her husband -Peter & Christine Kairuz

 

2 | My relationship is more important than my agenda

Many maaaaaany times I look back on the arguments we’ve had, 99% were because of petty things & yet the damage we cause become immense. To be honest? I could not control my mouth just because I want my agenda to win. Any wives relate? As what our godparents, kuya JP & ate Cielo remind us, “if one wins, both lose”. The sooner we work on being in the same team, the sooner we’ll win! If you would allow me to remind you, darling, we are the thermostat of our home. Breathe in, breathe out, choose your battles & zip it! #notetoself haha! And should you want to air out, pray, let God fight your battles & here’s the next takeaway, sow anyway.

This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! James 3:7-10

 

3 | Sow anyway

Marriage is a process or journey of becoming one, naturally, there will be breaking because of a lot of reasons- differences in opinion & personality to name one. There will be days when you’ll be faced with matters that trigger anger, disappointment, hurt & so on… but you sow anyway. You do your part anyway. That is a marriage.

 

4 | You go through seasons in marriage

This be one of my favourite topics in camp because it gave us comfort & a better understanding where we are at right now, a glimpse of what to expect in the future & that a lot of us are in the same page. We are not alone. This made us appreciate more where we’re at. Allow me to share some of the notes that were shared to us.

Newlyweds / Spring

  • This is the season where both are in a “romantic high” where there’s heightened passion & euphoric sexual intimacy. Couples at this stage are inseparable!
  • There is emotional obsession wherein mistakes are not a big deal, there is maximum tolerance, extreme understanding & patience & sweetness is evident.
  • Depending on various factors, may last 1-3 years.

Married with children/ Summer

  • The illusion of perfection is gone & patience wears thin.
  • A lot more effort is required for dates & sexual intimacy.
  • Depending on various factors, may last up to 12-15 years.

Married with teens & young adults/ Autumn

  • No more illusions! You’ve passed through trials & weathered the storms. Your love was tested & it passed!
  • You’re more focused on stability especially that this is the time where you earn more but spend more.
  • You are careful when it comes to sexual intimacy in consideration of your teens because they could decode your “signals”
  • Depending on various factors, may last up to 10 years

Empty nest/ Winter

  • Everyone’s married or has moved out & this is the time you REDISCOVER yourselves.
  • You are enjoying the fruits of your labor!
  • You celebrate imperfections.
  • You have a lot of time for sexual intimacy but less energy.
  • Energy is rechanneled to grandchildren.
  • This stage continues until widowhood.

Widow/er Stage

  • Depending on age, this stage may end if widow/er remarries or it continues till death.
  • After a time of grieving, you rediscover yourself & you find a new hobby however, you miss your spouse.

Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life, which has been given to you under the sun, all your fleeting days. For that is your portion in life and in your struggle under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9

Cried during this discussion. Life presented this way made me realise how short living is & hear hear to what Ptr. Peter said, “Life is too short to be picking on your spouse”. Hubs & I are in summer & honestly, the transition is very challenging. But given this fresh perspective, I’m encouraged not just to fight but to fight gratefully & wisely. This also made me appreciate my husband all the more…

 

5 | Your spouse is God’s exclusive gift to you

Admittedly, with the change that’s been happening, I’ve allowed myself to be trapped in my own concerns which in effect, crippled me to FULLY appreciate, honour & respect my husband. This brought me to more tears during camp as I expressed how grateful I am to be gifted with a loving husband (as you can see in my Fusion Camp vlog). Despite everything we are going through, the truth remains- the truth that your spouse is God’s EXCLUSIVE GIFT, YOURS ALONE. Reflect on that for a moment & think of all the good things about your spouse. Count your blessings, hun! That’s the way to go to a happier life!

6 | Husbands are to be respected

Yes, wives need to be loved but I want to emphasise this part, husbands need to be respected. #RESPECT, that’s a big word for your man. Girl, just do your part! #anothernotetoself God’s got you. It’s God’s design for your man to be the head of the home, this is His commandment. He has given him wisdom which you will have to submit to. Submitting doesn’t make us less of a woman, it actually shows strength. I know, this may be very difficult for us wives at times but God sees your heart. Watch how He blesses you, your marriage & home as He acknowledges your obedience. Work on it!

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:22-28

Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband’s existing achievements. Dr. Willard F. Harley

A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become.” Dr. Willard F. Harley

In my submission to my husband I must realise that marriage is entering into a covenant relationship which means death to independent living. Peter & Christine Kairuz

 

7 | You forgive & honour your parents to break a generational curse

This hits me hard because I came from a broken family. Do the math. Although forgiveness is evident in our family by God’s grace, when this topic was discussed, I realised I had to ask forgiveness to God. To explain that, Ptr. Peter & Tita Christine elaborated through an example. When one says, “I will never be like my mother/father” or “I will never do what my mother/father did to me”. It may sound promising but what we don’t realise is that we are releasing a curse towards our parents & that affects us. How? It says in His word, ““HONOUR YOUR FATHER & MOTHER”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “SO THAT IT MAY GO WELL WITH YOU and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” I know in my heart I’ve said this so Reel & I lifted a prayer, asking for forgiveness.

Nothing in a relationship has to permanently destroy that relationship if forgiveness is in the picture… No failure is larger than grace. No hurt exists that love cannot heal. Dr. Henry Cloud/ Dr. John Townsend


 

Young Couple: How were you able to stay together all these years?

Old Couple: We lived in a generation where if something was broken, instead of giving up & throwing it away, WE FIX IT.

THIS IS A MARRIAGE.

You don’t quit, you fight. You fight for many reasons but most of all, you do it for God’s glory.

All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 4:15


Can’t wait for the camp next year & we hope more couples can join!

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Utterly filled with gratitude, Ptr. Peter & Tita Christine for everything you’ve imparted, especially your time & testimony. God bless your marriage & ministry all the more! Ptrs. JP & Cielo, thank you for your leadership, especially, love. You don’t only lead us every month, you share your lives to us & are just a call away. How blessed are we to call you our godparents! To Ptr. Jo & Tita Sheilah grateful for setting a great example, fighting for couples through prayers & counselling & establishing the Fusion ministry. To every single one who made this camp a success, you know who you are, your labor in the Lord isn’t in vain!!!

Thank you, love, for being intentional & purposeful for our marriage to flourish. We have a long way to go but we are on the right track because of God’s grace. May God be glorified in our marriage. I love, honour & respect you.

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Father God, I am lost for words. We see what you did here. You’re a good good, Father. Glory to you alone!

Credits to Iko Villegas, Felmar Caranzo, Mika Kairuz & to my love, Reel Bontol for the videos & photos.

Takeaways from Colour Me Ladies Conference 2019

Lifestyle

Hi there! It’s been a while since I wrote something on my blog. Sooooo many things are on my plate right now, motherhood having the biggest part from the pie, hah! #honestmotherhood Also, partly because I’ve added vlogging to my content but blogging will always have a special place in my heart. So here it goes!

Last week I had my MTO (Mom’s Time Out), spent a day together with about 2,000 women for the annual Colour Me Ladies Conference. Every year I block off my schedule for this event because it’s such a powerful thing to get together with women more so, women who speak life & empower. This is the company you want to be in! YAAAAAAAAAS!

This year was no exception of a vibrant day with guest speakers Christine Kairuz, Venus Raj & Maricar & Richard Poon. The theme of this year’s conference was Colour Me White (Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8). The rest of the details & happenings will be uploaded on my channel so stay tuned for that! Aaaaand besides my vlog, which is currently on the works, here are my takeaways from Colour Me Ladies Conference 2019.

Feel free to save images, somebody might just need it today. *wink* #PASSITON

I

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 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23

Emphasis on ABOVE ALL ELSE & EVERYTHING… This clearly tells us the importance of our hearts. It says ABOVE & ALL ELSE, top priority, why? For EVERYTHING, not just ‘some’ but everything we do flows FROM IT. Everything we do is dictated by the heart. And if God has our hearts, He’s definitely got us. Question is, does He have your heart?

II

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The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9-10

…and a right heart, produces a right life. What is a right heart? Honestly, NOBODY has the capacity to have a right heart. As it says in the bible, our hearts are deceitful, beyond cure & nobody, even ourselves, understands it. Many times, if not all the time, the moment we feel we understand our hearts, is the moment it jumps to another emotion. Right? So what do we do? We give it to the one who is able to make things right for us. Why? Because a wrong heart, produces a wrong life.

The condition of your heart determines the course of your life.

The course of your life will lead you to the choices you make.

The choices you make determine your consequences.

III

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You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is beneficial.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Not every opportunity is for your benefit & not all ‘seemingly’ good thing is from the Lord. I always remember the White Witch from Narnia with this principle. Beautiful, isn’t she? On the outside, that is. The enemy comes to steal, kill & destroy & he’ll do everything- quote scripture, present himself beautiful or delicious as cake, to do just that. And we ought to be reminded to not go after everything we deem beautiful. How do you know if it’s from God? Besides praying & reading His word, pause & try to see the big picture or look many steps ahead to project the outcome of the opportunity that is presented to you. And if it doesn’t hurt, seek counsel from the right people.

IV

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You have to stop fooling yourself with something you can’t control. In other words, stop playing with fire. The only way to change is through total surrender. You might say, easy for me to say right? The principle doesn’t change just because it’s hard. You also have to understand that though not everybody understands you or what you’re going through, everybody has a battle of their own. In that perspective, you really can’t say it’s easy for me to say.

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

Hebrews 12:11

It’s hard because you’re worth it.

V

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Nobody is perfect therefore purity doesn’t just happen, it is a direction we take, a journey we go through. How do you know you’re on the right way or if you’re moving forward with it? Purity is never stagnant. Like faith, it grows.

VI

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The fruits of the holy spirit- love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). These fruits we posses, not for anything else but by abiding in Him. Truly we are who we are because of who God is & everything He’s done for us. Which means the glory goes to Him especially when these fruits are expressed. Also, do a self check, are these fruits being expressed lately? If yes, give back the glory to Him. If not, go back to your first Love- Jesus.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. John 15:4

VII

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Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God Matthew 5:8

Picture a blind man walking in a maze. Hard, right? Going through a maze is hard, more so, going through it blind? Our lives are like different levels of mazes. We go through so many decision-making that it is vital to SEE where we’re headed in every decision or step we make. And when our hearts are impure, they affect our vision. Which means, we may go to the wrong direction & end up trapped, not able to move forward, really. Again, it is only through Him that our hearts are purified. Give you hearts to God & He will be your eyes through the maze. We don’t need to fret, He’s up above, He sees everything, he’ll take you to the next level!

VIII

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You know God loves you right? You know He’s on your side & that He wants the best for you, right? And yet we receive a lot of discipline & correction from Him. Now that I’ve mentioned that, do you still think He loves you? As what Christine Kairuz said “He loves you too much to for you to stay the same”. Tough love, but it is love, still. God did not only send us the bible to correct us, he also sent us people to do that. Appreciate those people who do the hard thing of correcting you just so you live your best life.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.

Proverbs 12:1

IX

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The reason for your joy shouldn’t be because of men, because that only means they can take it away. I am not saying you don’t celebrate when people appreciate you but at the crossroads, you ought to be reminded that this life is His & that we live for His glory alone. Because if you go the other way, you will always end up getting hurt & stuck. Choose Jesus, choose, life- life to the full.

X

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After receiving & acknowledging God, you don’t automatically know everything. In fact, it is the ‘start’, not the ‘end’ of a beautiful journey. From glory to glory, He will take you to unchartered waters for you to experience Him. May this also be a reminder for everyone to look at others with fresh eyes & grace, for we are ALL a work in progress, we are all in a process.


There you go! Some you may know already but it’s good to be reminded right? And some may be new to you. Let’s talk! Drop a comment &/or see you on my socials.

Here are a few snaps from the event. Credits to the husband for these! You can check out his shots on instagram @docreeltravels.

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Truly, it always is an incredible  & refreshing time at the Colour Me Ladies Conference. See you next year!

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DEVO 001 | Pass It On

Devo

Most of the things you know in life are passed on. Do you realise that? The things you believe in, mantra, perspective, songs you make covers on, original ones from passed on insights, realisations, emotions & etc. Now, could you imagine something beautiful that has been passed on from generations to stop all because you decided to keep it to yourself? Or maybe you just weren’t aware of it. Generations thereafter would not know that one beautiful thing. Of course, life goes on but have you ever thought that maybe if you didn’t keep IT, that if you passed it on, it could’ve made a difference to the life of the person you shared it to or maybe it could’ve made an impact to the generations to come?

Reasons. You keep IT to yourself because maybe you feel small & you doubt yourself for sharing? You’re not aware of the power you posses through the IT that you have? Worse, you couldn’t care less or selfishness has taken over, “IT has helped me, made my life better, I want to be above everybody else, why should I share it?” Too much? Probably, but not impossible.

Let’s refer to the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 24:14-30, where one man/ servant kept his treasure because he was afraid it would get lost. (so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.” Matthew 24:25) FEAR got in the way & because of that his talent was taken away. (“So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” Matthew 24:28-29) On the other hand, the man who shared, passed on & multiplied his talent was rewarded by the master. (“And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” Matthew 24:22-23)

Jesus encourages us to use the talents or whatever He has given us, whether IT was passed on from a family, friend, pastor, leader, social media or directly from God through His word or from your quiet time with Him… for it or them to grow & multiply, more importantly, for you & me to grow. And notice the master says “enter into the joy of your master”. Isn’t this what we’re here for? To please, worship & glorify God? More than the multiplication of talent, skill, riches, resources, character… it glorifies God. That is what it ultimately does.

So I encourage you to be a light & intentionally pass on what you know, whether it’s a verse, quote, advice or even a greeting or a compliment.  You just don’t know where that simple gesture will take you & that person too. You might just save a life!

Look beyond the reasons that are holding you back or down from passing it on. Look to Jesus, reflect on & glorify Him.

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