Takeaways from Fusion Camp 2019

Life

A weekend my hubs & I will cherish forever, #FusionCamp2019 was truly one for the books! It was the first couples camp organised by Citichurch, lead by Pastors JP & Cielo Villegas with guest speakers Pastor Peter & Christine Kairuz. By God’s grace we, along with a bunch of couples, had a blast learning about God’s word & design in marriage & practical concerns while having lots of fun! We were able to recommit our vows & rekindled the good fight in our marriage for His purpose & glory. We learned a lot but out of everything, here are 7 takeaways that really stirred my heart.

1 | Wives & mothers set the thermostat at home

Thermostat is defined as a device that automatically regulates temperature. Is your home cool or hot? Let me rephrase that, is the MOOD of your home, cool or hot? I realised that the mood of our home has a lot to do with me, if you’re a wife or a mother reading this, this goes to you too! Wives & mothers, we fail to realise that we have SO much POWER into achieving a blissful, peaceful & vibrant home. I speak for myself, most of the time I tend to blame things around me or my husband but really, I have the ability to make things better. How? I set the temperature or mood when I respond gently, express my emotions at the right time, encourage, pray & when I don’t push my agenda into the situation. Which leads us to my second takeaway.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image & glory of God but woman is the glory of man. 1 Corinthians 11:7

The wife is the glory, honour & dignity of her husband -Peter & Christine Kairuz

 

2 | My relationship is more important than my agenda

Many maaaaaany times I look back on the arguments we’ve had, 99% were because of petty things & yet the damage we cause become immense. To be honest? I could not control my mouth just because I want my agenda to win. Any wives relate? As what our godparents, kuya JP & ate Cielo remind us, “if one wins, both lose”. The sooner we work on being in the same team, the sooner we’ll win! If you would allow me to remind you, darling, we are the thermostat of our home. Breathe in, breathe out, choose your battles & zip it! #notetoself haha! And should you want to air out, pray, let God fight your battles & here’s the next takeaway, sow anyway.

This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! James 3:7-10

 

3 | Sow anyway

Marriage is a process or journey of becoming one, naturally, there will be breaking because of a lot of reasons- differences in opinion & personality to name one. There will be days when you’ll be faced with matters that trigger anger, disappointment, hurt & so on… but you sow anyway. You do your part anyway. That is a marriage.

 

4 | You go through seasons in marriage

This be one of my favourite topics in camp because it gave us comfort & a better understanding where we are at right now, a glimpse of what to expect in the future & that a lot of us are in the same page. We are not alone. This made us appreciate more where we’re at. Allow me to share some of the notes that were shared to us.

Newlyweds / Spring

  • This is the season where both are in a “romantic high” where there’s heightened passion & euphoric sexual intimacy. Couples at this stage are inseparable!
  • There is emotional obsession wherein mistakes are not a big deal, there is maximum tolerance, extreme understanding & patience & sweetness is evident.
  • Depending on various factors, may last 1-3 years.

Married with children/ Summer

  • The illusion of perfection is gone & patience wears thin.
  • A lot more effort is required for dates & sexual intimacy.
  • Depending on various factors, may last up to 12-15 years.

Married with teens & young adults/ Autumn

  • No more illusions! You’ve passed through trials & weathered the storms. Your love was tested & it passed!
  • You’re more focused on stability especially that this is the time where you earn more but spend more.
  • You are careful when it comes to sexual intimacy in consideration of your teens because they could decode your “signals”
  • Depending on various factors, may last up to 10 years

Empty nest/ Winter

  • Everyone’s married or has moved out & this is the time you REDISCOVER yourselves.
  • You are enjoying the fruits of your labor!
  • You celebrate imperfections.
  • You have a lot of time for sexual intimacy but less energy.
  • Energy is rechanneled to grandchildren.
  • This stage continues until widowhood.

Widow/er Stage

  • Depending on age, this stage may end if widow/er remarries or it continues till death.
  • After a time of grieving, you rediscover yourself & you find a new hobby however, you miss your spouse.

Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life, which has been given to you under the sun, all your fleeting days. For that is your portion in life and in your struggle under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9

Cried during this discussion. Life presented this way made me realise how short living is & hear hear to what Ptr. Peter said, “Life is too short to be picking on your spouse”. Hubs & I are in summer & honestly, the transition is very challenging. But given this fresh perspective, I’m encouraged not just to fight but to fight gratefully & wisely. This also made me appreciate my husband all the more…

 

5 | Your spouse is God’s exclusive gift to you

Admittedly, with the change that’s been happening, I’ve allowed myself to be trapped in my own concerns which in effect, crippled me to FULLY appreciate, honour & respect my husband. This brought me to more tears during camp as I expressed how grateful I am to be gifted with a loving husband (as you can see in my Fusion Camp vlog). Despite everything we are going through, the truth remains- the truth that your spouse is God’s EXCLUSIVE GIFT, YOURS ALONE. Reflect on that for a moment & think of all the good things about your spouse. Count your blessings, hun! That’s the way to go to a happier life!

6 | Husbands are to be respected

Yes, wives need to be loved but I want to emphasise this part, husbands need to be respected. #RESPECT, that’s a big word for your man. Girl, just do your part! #anothernotetoself God’s got you. It’s God’s design for your man to be the head of the home, this is His commandment. He has given him wisdom which you will have to submit to. Submitting doesn’t make us less of a woman, it actually shows strength. I know, this may be very difficult for us wives at times but God sees your heart. Watch how He blesses you, your marriage & home as He acknowledges your obedience. Work on it!

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:22-28

Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband’s existing achievements. Dr. Willard F. Harley

A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become.” Dr. Willard F. Harley

In my submission to my husband I must realise that marriage is entering into a covenant relationship which means death to independent living. Peter & Christine Kairuz

 

7 | You forgive & honour your parents to break a generational curse

This hits me hard because I came from a broken family. Do the math. Although forgiveness is evident in our family by God’s grace, when this topic was discussed, I realised I had to ask forgiveness to God. To explain that, Ptr. Peter & Tita Christine elaborated through an example. When one says, “I will never be like my mother/father” or “I will never do what my mother/father did to me”. It may sound promising but what we don’t realise is that we are releasing a curse towards our parents & that affects us. How? It says in His word, ““HONOUR YOUR FATHER & MOTHER”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “SO THAT IT MAY GO WELL WITH YOU and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” I know in my heart I’ve said this so Reel & I lifted a prayer, asking for forgiveness.

Nothing in a relationship has to permanently destroy that relationship if forgiveness is in the picture… No failure is larger than grace. No hurt exists that love cannot heal. Dr. Henry Cloud/ Dr. John Townsend


 

Young Couple: How were you able to stay together all these years?

Old Couple: We lived in a generation where if something was broken, instead of giving up & throwing it away, WE FIX IT.

THIS IS A MARRIAGE.

You don’t quit, you fight. You fight for many reasons but most of all, you do it for God’s glory.

All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 4:15


Can’t wait for the camp next year & we hope more couples can join!

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Utterly filled with gratitude, Ptr. Peter & Tita Christine for everything you’ve imparted, especially your time & testimony. God bless your marriage & ministry all the more! Ptrs. JP & Cielo, thank you for your leadership, especially, love. You don’t only lead us every month, you share your lives to us & are just a call away. How blessed are we to call you our godparents! To Ptr. Jo & Tita Sheilah grateful for setting a great example, fighting for couples through prayers & counselling & establishing the Fusion ministry. To every single one who made this camp a success, you know who you are, your labor in the Lord isn’t in vain!!!

Thank you, love, for being intentional & purposeful for our marriage to flourish. We have a long way to go but we are on the right track because of God’s grace. May God be glorified in our marriage. I love, honour & respect you.

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Father God, I am lost for words. We see what you did here. You’re a good good, Father. Glory to you alone!

Credits to Iko Villegas, Felmar Caranzo, Mika Kairuz & to my love, Reel Bontol for the videos & photos.

8 Reminders to Married Couples

Life
We recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary last April 28. Long way to go right? So who am I to share reminders to couples? Well, I believe we all need to be reminded, learning never stops & in our 3 years we’ve learned or we are continuously learning I should say, a couple of things so why not share them. Disclaimer, this doesn’t mean our marriage is perfect, no marriage is. That’s not a secret. And the reason why we’re able to learn & share something is because of our imperfections & failures. Even the married couples we look up to don’t have it all together but that’s exactly the reason why we listen to them. Because despite of the challenges that comes with marriage, here they are fighting together & helping other couples like us. So I thought, these reminders shouldn’t stop with us! Passing on 8 reminders to married couples.

 

1. Never stop dating

Working on it! It’s hard. We’re on the same page but so are other things & yet we find ways. We acknowledge how challenging it is. In our case, we just had our first date during our anniversary ever since we had a child. Finally. Dates doesn’t have to be expensive but it has to be exclusive. Go out for an hour or two, just you two. And just how we’re reminded, don’t talk about your baby, work & other things, be cheesy & talk about love.

2. Seek Counsel

Marriage is husband & wife so why do we need to have sponsors & guests on our wedding anyway? Those people especially your godparents play a very important role in your marriage. Your Ninongs & Ninangs, those who’ve been married for many years now, know how it is. They’ve been there! Seek counsel from them. Also, make sure that who you open up to are people who you & your spouse can trust. Not just you but both of you. Who without bias tell you the hard truth, give you tough love. Also, when you seek counsel, don’t run to your parents especially when you just had a fight. They’re biased & they’ll have the tendency to look at your spouse a different way. Which leads us to number 3, honour.

3. Honour

Big word. Yes! One example is making your spouse look good despite of. Having challenges in marriage isn’t new. Every married couple knows that. So why state the obvious & post it on social media? Honour. Not everyone has to know your story. Go back to number 2.

4. Wives, Submit. Husbands, love.

Wives, Submit

A work in progress in this area. How about you? I used to think submitting was easy until your boat takes you to uncharted waters. And there will definitely be times when agreeing will be very difficult but you have to do your part anyway. Resistance isn’t strength, submitting is. Submitting to wrong things is besides the point here, that’s another topic that has to be in another blog.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24

Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

Husbands, Love

We always hear it, isn’t it easy to submit to a loving husband? Husbands need to be respected, wives need to be loved. Men & women are wired differently & yet we marry each other. What am I trying to say? Husbands, if you say women are hard to understand, let me break it to you… we have a deep need to be loved, all love languages involved. That’s it.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28

5. Win Together

As what our Ninong & Ninang reminds us, if one wins, both lose. Win together! Again, it’s hard. We know but the sooner you work on being on the same team, the sooner you’ll win.

6. Where you’re not married, there’s conflict

When you get married, everything has to be married. Meaning, everything has to be one or both of you should be in agreement over everything-— time, money, children, goals & etc. Where you are not married or in agreement over something, you are acting ‘single’, which shouldn’t be the case because you are married. For example, your friends bother your spouse. Who will adjust for both of you to be ‘married’ in the situation? Someone or both should adjust & make sacrifices for the marriage to work. It is a process & love is not selfish. Marriage is a journey of dying to self, friends. Choose to be married every single day!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

7. Communicate

I cannot emphasise this enough. Communicate, verbal & non-verbal. So many times we’ve fought because of miscommunication. Although I believe there’s timing for everything. I mean it’s not a very good timing to talk  when both of you are angry & emotions are in the way. However, there always should be a time to communicate. Problems will keep coming back if you don’t. Sometimes, i’m told something & hear differently. Have you ever been there? Recently, I’ve been confirming the words of my spouse to make sure i’m hearing correctly. Also, there are just some things we couldn’t get, well, I couldn’t get right away. I have to communicate & ask, “Is this what you’re trying to say?” How you say things matters too. Say them with love… you are talking to the love of your life! However it is for you, communicate.

8. Marriage’s ultimate goal is to glorify God

May our prayers be, “Lord, May our marriage bless you”. Marriage is a gift from God & it ought to reflect His love. We love because He first loved us. Marriage isn’t just husband & wife, God has to be in the picture of becoming one. In fact, only God can make two become one. We have to understand & have the perspective that our marriages are beyond ourselves & that its purpose is to glorify God that when the going gets tough & everything doesn’t make sense, we run to God who can give us peace that surpasses all understanding & guard our hearts. Or when everything’s well & good, we deny ourselves & give the credit to God.

“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

Call upon me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you & you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15

Our marriage is a work in progress & we are truly grateful we get a lot of reminders & encouragement from our pastors, godparents, family & friends. Praise God for people who are cheering us on & running this race with us. We seek counsel & allow important people to speak life to us. We are part of a married life group & a ministry in church called Fusion. Placing details below should you want to know more about it.
3rd year & counting & we praise God, we’re moving forward. Praying for a blissful marriage for you & your spouse. I hope this was helpful. God bless!

 

FUSION is the young married couples ministry of Citichurch. It is a community that supports the union of husband & wife, anchoring on faith knowing that it is only by God’s miracle working power that allows every individual to fuse when entering into marriage, thus the name Fusion. It believes that healthy marriages equal to healthy families, to a healthy church, to a healthy society.

Fusion is lead by Pastors JP & Cielo Villegas. They meet 6pm, on the 3rd Saturday of every month. For updates, visit Citichurch on Facebook &/or Instagram.

And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10:8-9

Takeaways from Colour Me Ladies Conference 2019

Lifestyle

Hi there! It’s been a while since I wrote something on my blog. Sooooo many things are on my plate right now, motherhood having the biggest part from the pie, hah! #honestmotherhood Also, partly because I’ve added vlogging to my content but blogging will always have a special place in my heart. So here it goes!

Last week I had my MTO (Mom’s Time Out), spent a day together with about 2,000 women for the annual Colour Me Ladies Conference. Every year I block off my schedule for this event because it’s such a powerful thing to get together with women more so, women who speak life & empower. This is the company you want to be in! YAAAAAAAAAS!

This year was no exception of a vibrant day with guest speakers Christine Kairuz, Venus Raj & Maricar & Richard Poon. The theme of this year’s conference was Colour Me White (Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8). The rest of the details & happenings will be uploaded on my channel so stay tuned for that! Aaaaand besides my vlog, which is currently on the works, here are my takeaways from Colour Me Ladies Conference 2019.

Feel free to save images, somebody might just need it today. *wink* #PASSITON

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 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23

Emphasis on ABOVE ALL ELSE & EVERYTHING… This clearly tells us the importance of our hearts. It says ABOVE & ALL ELSE, top priority, why? For EVERYTHING, not just ‘some’ but everything we do flows FROM IT. Everything we do is dictated by the heart. And if God has our hearts, He’s definitely got us. Question is, does He have your heart?

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The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9-10

…and a right heart, produces a right life. What is a right heart? Honestly, NOBODY has the capacity to have a right heart. As it says in the bible, our hearts are deceitful, beyond cure & nobody, even ourselves, understands it. Many times, if not all the time, the moment we feel we understand our hearts, is the moment it jumps to another emotion. Right? So what do we do? We give it to the one who is able to make things right for us. Why? Because a wrong heart, produces a wrong life.

The condition of your heart determines the course of your life.

The course of your life will lead you to the choices you make.

The choices you make determine your consequences.

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You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is beneficial.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Not every opportunity is for your benefit & not all ‘seemingly’ good thing is from the Lord. I always remember the White Witch from Narnia with this principle. Beautiful, isn’t she? On the outside, that is. The enemy comes to steal, kill & destroy & he’ll do everything- quote scripture, present himself beautiful or delicious as cake, to do just that. And we ought to be reminded to not go after everything we deem beautiful. How do you know if it’s from God? Besides praying & reading His word, pause & try to see the big picture or look many steps ahead to project the outcome of the opportunity that is presented to you. And if it doesn’t hurt, seek counsel from the right people.

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You have to stop fooling yourself with something you can’t control. In other words, stop playing with fire. The only way to change is through total surrender. You might say, easy for me to say right? The principle doesn’t change just because it’s hard. You also have to understand that though not everybody understands you or what you’re going through, everybody has a battle of their own. In that perspective, you really can’t say it’s easy for me to say.

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

Hebrews 12:11

It’s hard because you’re worth it.

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Nobody is perfect therefore purity doesn’t just happen, it is a direction we take, a journey we go through. How do you know you’re on the right way or if you’re moving forward with it? Purity is never stagnant. Like faith, it grows.

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The fruits of the holy spirit- love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). These fruits we posses, not for anything else but by abiding in Him. Truly we are who we are because of who God is & everything He’s done for us. Which means the glory goes to Him especially when these fruits are expressed. Also, do a self check, are these fruits being expressed lately? If yes, give back the glory to Him. If not, go back to your first Love- Jesus.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. John 15:4

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Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God Matthew 5:8

Picture a blind man walking in a maze. Hard, right? Going through a maze is hard, more so, going through it blind? Our lives are like different levels of mazes. We go through so many decision-making that it is vital to SEE where we’re headed in every decision or step we make. And when our hearts are impure, they affect our vision. Which means, we may go to the wrong direction & end up trapped, not able to move forward, really. Again, it is only through Him that our hearts are purified. Give you hearts to God & He will be your eyes through the maze. We don’t need to fret, He’s up above, He sees everything, he’ll take you to the next level!

VIII

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You know God loves you right? You know He’s on your side & that He wants the best for you, right? And yet we receive a lot of discipline & correction from Him. Now that I’ve mentioned that, do you still think He loves you? As what Christine Kairuz said “He loves you too much to for you to stay the same”. Tough love, but it is love, still. God did not only send us the bible to correct us, he also sent us people to do that. Appreciate those people who do the hard thing of correcting you just so you live your best life.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.

Proverbs 12:1

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The reason for your joy shouldn’t be because of men, because that only means they can take it away. I am not saying you don’t celebrate when people appreciate you but at the crossroads, you ought to be reminded that this life is His & that we live for His glory alone. Because if you go the other way, you will always end up getting hurt & stuck. Choose Jesus, choose, life- life to the full.

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After receiving & acknowledging God, you don’t automatically know everything. In fact, it is the ‘start’, not the ‘end’ of a beautiful journey. From glory to glory, He will take you to unchartered waters for you to experience Him. May this also be a reminder for everyone to look at others with fresh eyes & grace, for we are ALL a work in progress, we are all in a process.


There you go! Some you may know already but it’s good to be reminded right? And some may be new to you. Let’s talk! Drop a comment &/or see you on my socials.

Here are a few snaps from the event. Credits to the husband for these! You can check out his shots on instagram @docreeltravels.

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Truly, it always is an incredible  & refreshing time at the Colour Me Ladies Conference. See you next year!

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DEVO 001 | Pass It On

Devo

Most of the things you know in life are passed on. Do you realise that? The things you believe in, mantra, perspective, songs you make covers on, original ones from passed on insights, realisations, emotions & etc. Now, could you imagine something beautiful that has been passed on from generations to stop all because you decided to keep it to yourself? Or maybe you just weren’t aware of it. Generations thereafter would not know that one beautiful thing. Of course, life goes on but have you ever thought that maybe if you didn’t keep IT, that if you passed it on, it could’ve made a difference to the life of the person you shared it to or maybe it could’ve made an impact to the generations to come?

Reasons. You keep IT to yourself because maybe you feel small & you doubt yourself for sharing? You’re not aware of the power you posses through the IT that you have? Worse, you couldn’t care less or selfishness has taken over, “IT has helped me, made my life better, I want to be above everybody else, why should I share it?” Too much? Probably, but not impossible.

Let’s refer to the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 24:14-30, where one man/ servant kept his treasure because he was afraid it would get lost. (so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.” Matthew 24:25) FEAR got in the way & because of that his talent was taken away. (“So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” Matthew 24:28-29) On the other hand, the man who shared, passed on & multiplied his talent was rewarded by the master. (“And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” Matthew 24:22-23)

Jesus encourages us to use the talents or whatever He has given us, whether IT was passed on from a family, friend, pastor, leader, social media or directly from God through His word or from your quiet time with Him… for it or them to grow & multiply, more importantly, for you & me to grow. And notice the master says “enter into the joy of your master”. Isn’t this what we’re here for? To please, worship & glorify God? More than the multiplication of talent, skill, riches, resources, character… it glorifies God. That is what it ultimately does.

So I encourage you to be a light & intentionally pass on what you know, whether it’s a verse, quote, advice or even a greeting or a compliment.  You just don’t know where that simple gesture will take you & that person too. You might just save a life!

Look beyond the reasons that are holding you back or down from passing it on. Look to Jesus, reflect on & glorify Him.

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Having A Broken Family Doesn’t Mean A Broken Life For You

Lifestyle

A couple of weeks after getting married, I posted a gazillion of photos at my social media accounts & each photo had meaningful captions about how the dream of marriage started, a glimpse of the proposal, the preparation & the process of getting to the BIG DAY & the day itself, along with the people who were, are & will continue to be part of our journey.

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Every beautiful soul that were supporting us all the way & God’s masterpiece as our backdrop

And then, a person sends me this message…

… I don’t believe in marriage because I grew up from a broken family & there are a lot of playboys around. I remember, you came from a broken family. I just want to know how you turned out to be someone who believes in marriage.

 So here goes my answer.

Having a broken family doesn’t mean a broken life for you.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

MY IDENTITY IS IN CHRIST

I am a child of Christ more than anything else. I identify with Him. This has got a lot to do with knowing your Heavenly Father first. He is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Great I AM, the Prince of Peace, the one who died for you & me. And identifying yourself with Christ gives you the hope that’s like the sun that shines every morning, gives you joy that’s overflowing, peace that surpasses all understanding & love that’s everlasting. You’ll be so full of Him that you can’t help but give the same to the people around you.

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind. Psalms 33:11-13

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 1 John 4:7-9

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5

For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? {33} It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. {34} He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. 2 Samuel 22:32-34

These are just some of the verses about God. Continuously read about Him, then you’ll be able to identify yourself with your Heavenly Father.

YOUR SECURITY & CONFIDENCE IS IN HIM

This also means that your security & confidence is in Christ. Having Christ doesn’t mean the absence of challenges, we live in an untamed world. But it only means having Him go before you not only in battle, also in victories & every part of your life, every fiber of your being. That should enable you to be secured & confident.

When you have Christ, you have everything.

 One of my favorite verses- She is clothed with strength & dignity; and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

For this God is our God forever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. Psalms 48:14

 O my Strength, I watch for you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God. God will go before me and will let me gloat over those who slander me. Psalms 59:9-10

 My salvation and my honor depend on God ; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. {8} Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah Psalms 62:7-8

 For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. Deuteronomy 20:4

 LISTEN TO HIS VOICE & TAKE THINGS INTO HIS PERSPECTIVE

Anybody can influence you to his or her perspective & talk you into it then you’ll grow up believing in whatever they say, good or bad but the best one you’ll ever need & listen to is His. When people think that you’ll just be like your parents or they’re just waiting for you to fall & their voices are too loud it’s getting into your head…shut your ears but leave room for His still small voice. Don’t let the negative things & words get to your heart. Look at things with faith, everything happens for a reason, for His glory.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalms 73:26

GET INTO THE WORD

The only way to know yourself more is to knowing Him more. And the only way to hear Him & have His perspective is to read His word.

Faith comes from hearing & hearing the word of God. Romans 10:17

He has a lot to say to you & He loves you too much for you to just waste your life. Know His gifts, promises & teachings. And after knowing them, live by them & experience the wonder of His love for you.

“If you will diligently listen to the voice of the LORD your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, your healer.” Exodus 15:26

Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Proverbs 30:5

 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. 1 Corinthians 4:20

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

FORGIVE

Forgive your parents & yourself. Stop thinking & living like the fault of your parents are yours & that the consequences have to be yours. I’ve heard it a couple of times & along the way, I might have said it while going through rough stuff, “I’m like this or am going through this bad situation because I came from a broken family”. You know you have a choice? You have a choice to respond positively every time the going gets tough. Growing up, by His grace, I made my situation a motivation to never give up on His promises in my life. He said in His word, He has fashioned the days for me & that I have a hope & a great future. And I was willing to do everything to claim that. It wasn’t an easy road given the circumstances, never. But I go back to Him then He tells me Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength. I am not saying all of these things because life was easy, you will have more challenges because life is a beautiful struggle. But I can confidently say all of these things because I went through a lot & now I testify of His mercy, grace & love. Continuously move forward with God’s promises.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8

GET WISDOM & ACT ON IT

From reading His word, you’ll get a lot of wisdom but you have to act on it & be wise. Apply what you learn.

For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. James 2:26

BELIEVING I MARRIAGE

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I have found whom my soul loves. Song of Solomon 3:4

With all of those things, I then believed in love… in marriage. My faith in Christ kept that alive in me. Although I made wrong decisions in relationships, I let go & let God. That was the case in everything. He took the wheel & one day He led me to the man He has for me.

Psalm 139:13-17

 13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, Andskillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there werenone of them.
 17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!

God is a God of order. Graduate, meet friends that speak life to you, establish your career, get Godly counsel, have fun & the Lord will just give you the man he has for you somewhere in the middle of you living your life in accordance to His will.

Seek Him first & He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

So about immature guys around you… first of all, pray for the person for you & don’t keep guessing every time a guy tries to pursue you. Ask God, ask your Daddy! And if the guy doesn’t love God, has no plans nor a direction in life, leads you to do wrong things, He’s obviously not the one. Don’t play the role of an angel & say you can change him. If he is God’s will for you, God will change him, not you.

Do not awaken love until it so desires. Song of Solomon 8:4

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5

And if everything seems to be great- He loves God, has a plan & direction & leads you to the right things… that’s good but that’s not enough, you need His confirmation. And when He confirms, the one will definitely date you with a purpose, with a goal of eventually marrying you. Sadly, this is not very famous. Most people just date & say “we’ll see”. I was riding on the same boat, you can try & learn or you learn from others or let’s say… a familiar one, learn from the experience of your parents.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Marriage has been in our hearts when my husband & I were dating. By His grace, after a year, my husband now, boyfriend at that time, asked me my hand in marriage. We had a wonderful marriage, not because of the venue, lights, decorations, dresses & flowers but because God was with us.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16

I believed & now that I am married, I will continue to believe in marriage. It is God’s gift to me & my husband & we fully accept it. And we believe for a God- given family someday.

I end this message with a piece of my wedding vow.

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Handwritten with love

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