8 Reminders to Married Couples

Life
We recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary last April 28. Long way to go right? So who am I to share reminders to couples? Well, I believe we all need to be reminded, learning never stops & in our 3 years we’ve learned or we are continuously learning I should say, a couple of things so why not share them. Disclaimer, this doesn’t mean our marriage is perfect, no marriage is. That’s not a secret. And the reason why we’re able to learn & share something is because of our imperfections & failures. Even the married couples we look up to don’t have it all together but that’s exactly the reason why we listen to them. Because despite of the challenges that comes with marriage, here they are fighting together & helping other couples like us. So I thought, these reminders shouldn’t stop with us! Passing on 8 reminders to married couples.

 

1. Never stop dating

Working on it! It’s hard. We’re on the same page but so are other things & yet we find ways. We acknowledge how challenging it is. In our case, we just had our first date during our anniversary ever since we had a child. Finally. Dates doesn’t have to be expensive but it has to be exclusive. Go out for an hour or two, just you two. And just how we’re reminded, don’t talk about your baby, work & other things, be cheesy & talk about love.

2. Seek Counsel

Marriage is husband & wife so why do we need to have sponsors & guests on our wedding anyway? Those people especially your godparents play a very important role in your marriage. Your Ninongs & Ninangs, those who’ve been married for many years now, know how it is. They’ve been there! Seek counsel from them. Also, make sure that who you open up to are people who you & your spouse can trust. Not just you but both of you. Who without bias tell you the hard truth, give you tough love. Also, when you seek counsel, don’t run to your parents especially when you just had a fight. They’re biased & they’ll have the tendency to look at your spouse a different way. Which leads us to number 3, honour.

3. Honour

Big word. Yes! One example is making your spouse look good despite of. Having challenges in marriage isn’t new. Every married couple knows that. So why state the obvious & post it on social media? Honour. Not everyone has to know your story. Go back to number 2.

4. Wives, Submit. Husbands, love.

Wives, Submit

A work in progress in this area. How about you? I used to think submitting was easy until your boat takes you to uncharted waters. And there will definitely be times when agreeing will be very difficult but you have to do your part anyway. Resistance isn’t strength, submitting is. Submitting to wrong things is besides the point here, that’s another topic that has to be in another blog.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24

Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

Husbands, Love

We always hear it, isn’t it easy to submit to a loving husband? Husbands need to be respected, wives need to be loved. Men & women are wired differently & yet we marry each other. What am I trying to say? Husbands, if you say women are hard to understand, let me break it to you… we have a deep need to be loved, all love languages involved. That’s it.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28

5. Win Together

As what our Ninong & Ninang reminds us, if one wins, both lose. Win together! Again, it’s hard. We know but the sooner you work on being on the same team, the sooner you’ll win.

6. Where you’re not married, there’s conflict

When you get married, everything has to be married. Meaning, everything has to be one or both of you should be in agreement over everything-— time, money, children, goals & etc. Where you are not married or in agreement over something, you are acting ‘single’, which shouldn’t be the case because you are married. For example, your friends bother your spouse. Who will adjust for both of you to be ‘married’ in the situation? Someone or both should adjust & make sacrifices for the marriage to work. It is a process & love is not selfish. Marriage is a journey of dying to self, friends. Choose to be married every single day!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

7. Communicate

I cannot emphasise this enough. Communicate, verbal & non-verbal. So many times we’ve fought because of miscommunication. Although I believe there’s timing for everything. I mean it’s not a very good timing to talk  when both of you are angry & emotions are in the way. However, there always should be a time to communicate. Problems will keep coming back if you don’t. Sometimes, i’m told something & hear differently. Have you ever been there? Recently, I’ve been confirming the words of my spouse to make sure i’m hearing correctly. Also, there are just some things we couldn’t get, well, I couldn’t get right away. I have to communicate & ask, “Is this what you’re trying to say?” How you say things matters too. Say them with love… you are talking to the love of your life! However it is for you, communicate.

8. Marriage’s ultimate goal is to glorify God

May our prayers be, “Lord, May our marriage bless you”. Marriage is a gift from God & it ought to reflect His love. We love because He first loved us. Marriage isn’t just husband & wife, God has to be in the picture of becoming one. In fact, only God can make two become one. We have to understand & have the perspective that our marriages are beyond ourselves & that its purpose is to glorify God that when the going gets tough & everything doesn’t make sense, we run to God who can give us peace that surpasses all understanding & guard our hearts. Or when everything’s well & good, we deny ourselves & give the credit to God.

“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

Call upon me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you & you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15

Our marriage is a work in progress & we are truly grateful we get a lot of reminders & encouragement from our pastors, godparents, family & friends. Praise God for people who are cheering us on & running this race with us. We seek counsel & allow important people to speak life to us. We are part of a married life group & a ministry in church called Fusion. Placing details below should you want to know more about it.
3rd year & counting & we praise God, we’re moving forward. Praying for a blissful marriage for you & your spouse. I hope this was helpful. God bless!

 

FUSION is the young married couples ministry of Citichurch. It is a community that supports the union of husband & wife, anchoring on faith knowing that it is only by God’s miracle working power that allows every individual to fuse when entering into marriage, thus the name Fusion. It believes that healthy marriages equal to healthy families, to a healthy church, to a healthy society.

Fusion is lead by Pastors JP & Cielo Villegas. They meet 6pm, on the 3rd Saturday of every month. For updates, visit Citichurch on Facebook &/or Instagram.

And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10:8-9

A Baby Shower to Remember x Tips on Planning a DIY Baby Shower

Motherhood

We just had our Baby Shower & I’d like to share a few tips on planning/ organising one.

But before sharing with you tips on planning a DIY Baby Shower, I would like to express the gratitude my husband & I have for making our Baby Shower one that’s to remember.


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We have been praying for our Baby Shower… since the beginning of our journey, we have seen God’s mighty hand move & our shower was no exception. I remember praying for God’s presence to be evident & that His glory would be made known through the celebration. I mean, those who know our story & my personal story would know why this was our prayer & why I am very passionate about marriage, family, parenting & motherhood. Sounds like a cliché or as what I’ve expressed during the shower, “being OA?”. I’m sorry, not sorry. This is simply the truth, God is gracious, loving, faithful & kind. So, I will boast about who He is & how he’s been moving in our lives. This was & is a big deal because EVERYTHING we were, are & will be experiencing, in this case a celebration of life, are all because of His Divine intervention, work & sovereignty.

 

I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have today.

Our Baby Shower, a day full of His love. We felt it deep. All love languages ticked.

 

First, ALL GLORY TO GOD. We thank the Lord for this great blessing. Having a baby was a dream & a prayer request. We specifically prayed to be pregnant after our 1st anniversary & that’s exactly what happened. A dream come true & an answered prayer!

 

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Prayer Warriors in Action

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

Next, I want to honour my husband & just express how great He has been during this journey. WE were both pregnant, if you know what I mean. Love, you have been nothing short of amazing!

 

Thank you to my dear sister, Gale, for organizing the baby shower, most of all, supporting us all the way, in any way.

Gale

Grateful for everybody who helped out & made the shower, extra extra special.

Primrose- Styling & Giveaways

Check out Rose Letters Cebu on Facebook for your event styling, invitation graphic layout needs & more

Primrose

 Dee- Documentation & Photo Editing

Check out Cinderella Photography on Facebook for your photography needs

 Hannah– Invitation layout & Documentation

You may message Hannah Mariel Jabines on Facebook for your graphic layout & event documentation needs

Hannah & Dee

Lenie, for assisting

Carmina, for hosting

Jesse, for taking care of registration

And to EVERYBODY who came, made time, gave gifts & helped us with the baby essentials & even those who weren’t able to come but showed some LOVE in any way, sending gifts, messages & prayers during this season. FAMILY & FRIENDS, we will be forever GRATEFUL. Thank you for allowing us to be part of your lives, you’ll always be part of ours. We are truly humbled by the overwhelming support. WE SPEAK A BLESSING TO YOUR LIVES a gazillion folds, IN HIS NAME, as you’ve blessed us tremendously.

Merced Family1

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Citichurch

Citichurch1

ALL BY HIS GRACE

Sharing with you some snippets of the Baby Shower

So, here it is!

Tips on Planning a DIY Baby Shower:

Set a Date & Time

First thing’s first! Set a date & time. Try answering the basic questions when planning a Baby Shower or any event for that matter-  WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, HOW. First thing’s first- WHAT & WHEN. What? A Baby Shower, in this case. When? Baby Showers are usually done on the 7th month of the Mom’s pregnancy. Communicate with the Mom- to- be some time in the 6th month when would be the best time, so that you have ample time to prepare.

Finalize Guest List

Answer WHO. Who are the ones who have been part of your journey? To the Mom, do not feel obligated to invite everybody, just because… You would know who were the ones who’ve made an impact in your journey. And this principle I keep in mind- You do not need a title nor an invitation to care for people. There will be people who will care or have shown care despite not having a title in your life or an invitation to gatherings like these. It’s your choice to invite them or simply appreciate them some other way. The right people will always stay. Communicate with Mom- to- be on the guest list before inviting.

Have a Gift Registry

Having a Gift Registry makes it very convenient for the Parents to- be & the guests. This would ensure parents are able to use the items for their baby in a way they plan to use them. And it would be easy for guests to choose their gift because they’ve been already sorted out. The first time I joined a Baby Shower, I was so clueless of what a baby would need. Thankfully, the celebrant had a registry. Totally saved me! As the planner, you may ask for the registry details from the Mom- to- be.

Choose a Theme

Choosing a theme is OPTIONAL. Nowadays, this has become popular for parties. How you come up with the theme depends on you, mainly the gender of the child. Some plan to do a gender reveal on the shower so most of the time, a baby shower like this becomes an all white party. Here are some probable factors for you to be able to come up with a theme:

*Baby’s Name

*Season the Mom is due

*Place Baby was conceived

And so much more! Be creative. Don’t forget to consult with the Mom- to- be. But like I said, this is just optional. A simple & memorable gathering is more than enough.

Make an Invite

Once you’ve established, date, time, event & theme. You may start inviting. Fortunately, inviting people has become very convenient due to social media. You can choose to give out invitations &/ or simply make an event on facebook. Announce when, time & gift registry. You may also include an “attire” based on your theme. How about WHERE? I would suggest answering that once you get a headcount. It’s best to have planned a month before the date to give time for people to adjust their schedules & make a confirmation. Announce the details as well as a deadline when each could possibly confirm so that you can set the venue. While you’re waiting for everybody’s confirmation, you may do some ocular visits & make calls to inquire. However, if you choose to give out hard copies of the invitation, you might need to finalize venue already.

Baby Shower Invite

Layout by Hannah Mariel Jabines

Book the Venue & order Food ahead

So you’ve got the headcount, now’s the time you book the venue or you may pencil book in advance. Make sure venue is suitable for the shower, consider number of guests coming & food is appropriate for the shower.

Make a Program

Have about 2-3 games & consider time for eating, gift giving & messages. The whole duration of the shower should be about 2-3 hours only. If you have a lot of guests, lessen the games & give more time for messages because even if you say “keep it short”, it won’t be. I personally would rather give the guests time to say or share something than games. They deserve the time considering their support, efforts & love. But customize & personalize all you want, it’s your shower!

Make Registration something for keeps

This is another thing that’s optional. However, this would be something you could give as a remembrance of the milestone to the parents- to-be. So if you are able to stretch yourself in making this happen, it would be great!

Make updates at event page from time to time

Make or announce updates from time to time to make it interesting. Other than important details, you may post trivia’s, post maternity photos or make a countdown. Here were a few sample postings in our shower.

Delegate tasks

Make sure you delegate tasks especially on the day. After all, you get by with a little help from your friends! Here are some areas you might need delegation with- registration, documentation, host/ game master, styling, music, food & beverage & etc. Depending on the details/ ayour

Have Fun

Most of all, have fun in doing all of these things (considering that you’re close with the parents- to- be) knowing that you are blessed to be blessing the couple in their milestone.


 

Here’s hoping you have a memorable & meaningful baby shower! Hope this helps. Enjoy your journey!