8 Reminders to Married Couples

Life
We recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary last April 28. Long way to go right? So who am I to share reminders to couples? Well, I believe we all need to be reminded, learning never stops & in our 3 years we’ve learned or we are continuously learning I should say, a couple of things so why not share them. Disclaimer, this doesn’t mean our marriage is perfect, no marriage is. That’s not a secret. And the reason why we’re able to learn & share something is because of our imperfections & failures. Even the married couples we look up to don’t have it all together but that’s exactly the reason why we listen to them. Because despite of the challenges that comes with marriage, here they are fighting together & helping other couples like us. So I thought, these reminders shouldn’t stop with us! Passing on 8 reminders to married couples.

 

1. Never stop dating

Working on it! It’s hard. We’re on the same page but so are other things & yet we find ways. We acknowledge how challenging it is. In our case, we just had our first date during our anniversary ever since we had a child. Finally. Dates doesn’t have to be expensive but it has to be exclusive. Go out for an hour or two, just you two. And just how we’re reminded, don’t talk about your baby, work & other things, be cheesy & talk about love.

2. Seek Counsel

Marriage is husband & wife so why do we need to have sponsors & guests on our wedding anyway? Those people especially your godparents play a very important role in your marriage. Your Ninongs & Ninangs, those who’ve been married for many years now, know how it is. They’ve been there! Seek counsel from them. Also, make sure that who you open up to are people who you & your spouse can trust. Not just you but both of you. Who without bias tell you the hard truth, give you tough love. Also, when you seek counsel, don’t run to your parents especially when you just had a fight. They’re biased & they’ll have the tendency to look at your spouse a different way. Which leads us to number 3, honour.

3. Honour

Big word. Yes! One example is making your spouse look good despite of. Having challenges in marriage isn’t new. Every married couple knows that. So why state the obvious & post it on social media? Honour. Not everyone has to know your story. Go back to number 2.

4. Wives, Submit. Husbands, love.

Wives, Submit

A work in progress in this area. How about you? I used to think submitting was easy until your boat takes you to uncharted waters. And there will definitely be times when agreeing will be very difficult but you have to do your part anyway. Resistance isn’t strength, submitting is. Submitting to wrong things is besides the point here, that’s another topic that has to be in another blog.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24

Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

Husbands, Love

We always hear it, isn’t it easy to submit to a loving husband? Husbands need to be respected, wives need to be loved. Men & women are wired differently & yet we marry each other. What am I trying to say? Husbands, if you say women are hard to understand, let me break it to you… we have a deep need to be loved, all love languages involved. That’s it.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28

5. Win Together

As what our Ninong & Ninang reminds us, if one wins, both lose. Win together! Again, it’s hard. We know but the sooner you work on being on the same team, the sooner you’ll win.

6. Where you’re not married, there’s conflict

When you get married, everything has to be married. Meaning, everything has to be one or both of you should be in agreement over everything-— time, money, children, goals & etc. Where you are not married or in agreement over something, you are acting ‘single’, which shouldn’t be the case because you are married. For example, your friends bother your spouse. Who will adjust for both of you to be ‘married’ in the situation? Someone or both should adjust & make sacrifices for the marriage to work. It is a process & love is not selfish. Marriage is a journey of dying to self, friends. Choose to be married every single day!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

7. Communicate

I cannot emphasise this enough. Communicate, verbal & non-verbal. So many times we’ve fought because of miscommunication. Although I believe there’s timing for everything. I mean it’s not a very good timing to talk  when both of you are angry & emotions are in the way. However, there always should be a time to communicate. Problems will keep coming back if you don’t. Sometimes, i’m told something & hear differently. Have you ever been there? Recently, I’ve been confirming the words of my spouse to make sure i’m hearing correctly. Also, there are just some things we couldn’t get, well, I couldn’t get right away. I have to communicate & ask, “Is this what you’re trying to say?” How you say things matters too. Say them with love… you are talking to the love of your life! However it is for you, communicate.

8. Marriage’s ultimate goal is to glorify God

May our prayers be, “Lord, May our marriage bless you”. Marriage is a gift from God & it ought to reflect His love. We love because He first loved us. Marriage isn’t just husband & wife, God has to be in the picture of becoming one. In fact, only God can make two become one. We have to understand & have the perspective that our marriages are beyond ourselves & that its purpose is to glorify God that when the going gets tough & everything doesn’t make sense, we run to God who can give us peace that surpasses all understanding & guard our hearts. Or when everything’s well & good, we deny ourselves & give the credit to God.

“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

Call upon me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you & you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15

Our marriage is a work in progress & we are truly grateful we get a lot of reminders & encouragement from our pastors, godparents, family & friends. Praise God for people who are cheering us on & running this race with us. We seek counsel & allow important people to speak life to us. We are part of a married life group & a ministry in church called Fusion. Placing details below should you want to know more about it.
3rd year & counting & we praise God, we’re moving forward. Praying for a blissful marriage for you & your spouse. I hope this was helpful. God bless!

 

FUSION is the young married couples ministry of Citichurch. It is a community that supports the union of husband & wife, anchoring on faith knowing that it is only by God’s miracle working power that allows every individual to fuse when entering into marriage, thus the name Fusion. It believes that healthy marriages equal to healthy families, to a healthy church, to a healthy society.

Fusion is lead by Pastors JP & Cielo Villegas. They meet 6pm, on the 3rd Saturday of every month. For updates, visit Citichurch on Facebook &/or Instagram.

And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10:8-9

Confessions of a Voice Talent

Lifestyle
 Written July 24, 2016

Tonight, after my last event of the month, marks my official vocal rest. So help me God.

It has been almost 2 months since my voice was A- ok. It has been really hoarse. But I have to admit, I haven’t been a good steward of God’s blessing. After resigning from my full- time job, I was booked with a fairly good number of gigs & have been given the privilege of serving God through becoming a worship leader. Despite that, I did not do preventive measures, I still drank 3- 4 cups of coffee per day, which I reeeeaaaaaaaally love, also eating spicy food, eating & drinking a lot of dairy & sweets & slept less than 8 hours, I kept talking & talking. I could go on. I wasn’t listening to my body. I wasn’t worshiping God.

And so, here I am having a lot of thoughts about this situation. And Ministry Sunday is coming up (The biggest event of the year in Citichurch) but I had to drop it because of the condition that I have. Thus, this is not just simply a confession of a voice talent, it’s

CONFESSIONS OF A WORSHIPPER

With this, I remember Ate Jesse (one of the leaders in the music ministry) recently asking me “what is worship?” This was in preparation for ministry sunday. Well, God has allowed me to be in this situation to, not just know, but experience worship in a different way, I could say in another level.

The Battle

The battle goes beyond consciously resting, not drinking coffee, eating sweets, drinking meds & home remedies, not being able to sing, to host, to talk & all the other physical challenges that comes with it. The battle is SELF.  The battle is self emotionally, mentally & most of all, spiritually. It is not being able to be who God wants you to be & not maximising yourself to your full potential & what God has designed you to be.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, o present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-3

Yes, I am in pain. My throat is in pain, my heart is in pain & worse, God is in pain because He wants the best for us & has a purpose & great destiny for us. Most of the time we only think of ourselves especially when we are in success & in pain. Most of the time when everything is going great, we tend to take all the glory & think highly of ourselves, which results to wasting away ourselves. And whenever we are in pain, we go to God & ask so many questions, some even blaming God. But the truth is, when we are victoriousm our Father in heaven is & whenever we are in pain, God our Creator is in pain too. But He has to let us go through the pressure. To learn, to mature, to be better, to move forward, to grow.

A diamond is a coal made under pressure.

Grace

But God doesn’t waste any pain. I look at this as a lesson & a season of building spiritual muscles for His glory. By grace I am able to move forward, I believe not just with the talent or skill that He has given but with a heart full of hope that I will be completely healed & by grace I will lift up his name through this little story of mine.

Worship

Before when asked what is worship. I simply say “It is a way of life”. It is, but to experience it? You could go on. In this situation, worship is resting, is going through the process of healing, is supporting the team in any way I can whether I sing with them or not, is lifting up a prayer, is rejoicing with my teammates…

Worship is the absence of self for God’s glory. IN EVERYTHING.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith. Romans 12:6 

#Confessionsofavoicetalent #Confessionsofaworshipper #worship #Jesus